Friday, September 17, 2010


A normally splendid day. Somehow today is less than splendid. I have a list of things that I need to accomplish, and a back that will not cooperate. This was supposed to be my weekend to recover from stacking the washer dryer, cleaning out the freezer - bringing it in and out of the sun. But, no. I know deep down that I won't. I've too many things calling me.
My garden beds need tending. The first fall lettuce and spinach seeds are late to be placed!
My kitchen floor is in desperate need of an acid washing - it's due to be resealed and needs it OH so badly.
My normal household chores are still awaiting their day.
The laundry now backed up from said stacking of washer and dryer, well it needs attention too!

It reminds me that not so long ago I was waking up in a hospital room nearly paralized with a very long road of recovery in front of me. See, I'm missing 1/3 of two of my lower vertebrae. I have had major back surgery and it amazes me on most days that I do so well this way. How wonderful I feel compared to the daily agony of just putting my socks on. Days of tears, just from brushing my teeth, mot being able to shower myself or put on my own shoes.

There are days I feel invincible and days I feel 80 and waining. Today is most definatley a waining (and whining) kind of day. Do I let it stop me? No, not unless I am reduced to tears. But it's amazing how doing what you REALLY thought you wanted done can be such a set back. I know my limits. 50 pounds, and not a single one more. 30 pounds if I hold it for more than a minute flat.

So, this begs the question (or three) - WHY when I know perfectly well what my limitations are do I do this to myself? What is it in we humans that drives us to knowingly make bad choices that have dire consequences? Will I ever stop thinking that maybe THIS time it won't be that way. THIS time I will be stronger, more capable?

*sigh* So it is yet another of life's lessons learned. Not that it is the first time I"ve had this lesson. No, certainly not. Let's jsut hope I can remember that while I need to do those things, I also need to rest and remember that I am not inveincible.

Here's to hoping your weekends are bright, and mine is at least mostly pain free!

'Til next time.

1 comment:

  1. Buck up, Barbie! You may not get it all done, but with a bit of rest, some may be accomplishable. And...there's nothing on that list that can't wait.